sadly, i have not posted recently. i was busy dealing with personal things as well as just a general malaise that grows from a lack of goals or diminishing ones. most of my time seems to be wrapped around nothing. i know this sounds like nothing and nothing to worry about, but it is something that does nothing. nothing is the lack of something, the absence of purpose, the bleakness in a black corridor that goes nowhere.
i have absolutely no idea what i just wrote. it’s all mind numbing tedium and bullshit. i think i need a break, but not the typical break where one is resting and doing nothing. i need a break from nothing. i need to do something and go somewhere. often times i see a lost and lonely road in the middle of the desert, vast, treeless, and devoid of any landmarks or scenery. i need to be in a place where there are things to see and things to do, far from the emptiness.
my recent trip to portland was interesting. the land of my birth that i have not seen since i was an infant. strangely, i saw places in portland that have come to me in dreams. were they locked memories, or perhaps a sign? only time will tell.
~adieu