reaching a turning point in one’s life is nothing to be afraid of. since moving to florida i have learned much about life. learned that sometimes things are not what they seem. granted this is a common cliché for almost anyone’s life and the way reality is laid out with humanity present. i learned things that were hard to learn. lessons i never thought i would need to learn. i am not all knowing and i know now that i know nothing and have so much more to learn.
i have made excuses for myself. some legit; some crutches. you cannot go through life blaming yourself for everything nor can you go through it blaming others. ultimately things happen and blame does nothing. you have to cope and overcome. you will make mistakes going through life. it is inevitable. doing the best you can is all you can do and there is no need for blame for that. it is only a disaster if you do not learn from the mistake and make the most of the aftermath. own up to your mistake. be straight up about it. tell those that are involved, ‘hey i made a mistake. i need to correct it.’ those that treat you as weak for displaying ownership of an error – after all we are only human (well most of us) -have greater issues than you. it’s best to not let them get the better of you. and most importantly, don’t let you get the best of you.
we are our own worse critics. we are all capable of doing so much that it might be surprising to ourselves if we just let go of our own criticisms and don’t be afraid to take the plunge. yes you might fail. but you might just succeed. really there is no such thing as failure other than giving up. what might be a failure is really a learning experience. take a ‘failure’ and tell yourself, ‘well now i know what not to do.’ pick yourself up and carry on with your objective.
don’t be gun shy. i have a problem with that. i know i do, but i am overcoming it. decades of habit be damned. i will overcome it because i am more than i appear. i am tired of being the wallflower of life. it is my life after all. it’s like throwing yourself a party and not going or just hanging out in the shadows. it’s your life. live it. no one is going to live it for you.
coming to florida was a mistake. i came here for the wrong reasons and i stayed for the wrong reasons. i used to say that i was stuck here. truth is, i am not stuck here. i am bound by chains that i made myself. i ran into walls that i made myself. sure there was the odd obstacle here and there that was primarily external in my life, but i let it become an obstacle rather than turning it into a bounding board to jump off of. the chains i have made are but ethereal and non-confining. the walls i created i can knock down or will away for they never existed to begin with.
i changed my site to 1.1 for i applied a ‘patch’ of sorts to myself and this upgrade will continue till i work out the ‘bugs’ in my life that are causing me to crash. the main point is to recognise and fix my shortcomings.
i will make the most of my life and i will answer to myself for my errors. i have beat up myself far too much and i need to move on and learn. to accomplish what i have been put here on this plane of existence to do. yes i will make more mistakes before my time is done, but i will learn to overcome them. i will learn to avoid future pitfalls. i will be the best me there is. i will not let me stop me from being me.
~adieu